A "Woman's choice" is what you most often hear about a woman choosing to having an abortion. The reality is that a woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, almost always wants the father to support her and help her make the right choice. You may be the only person, initially, she feels that she can talk to about this crisis in her life when she is probably frightened and worried about what to do. The "Man's choice," however, can be the single strongest influence on whether or not a woman chooses abortion. As worried as you may be, try not to say something that both you and your girlfriend will regret one day. Instead, offer to support her in whatever way she needs and tell her that she doesn't have to have an abortion to please you.

It is important to understand completely the physical and emotional risks of abortion for both you and your girlfriend. Our center can help provide you this information and support you in this process.

If your girlfriend is pregnant, we can offer you help by providing maternity clothes, medical referrals, sonograms by a trained, licensed person, and other support in many ways. You won't be alone. Neither of you! We will offer you support as you consider all your options and share about the pregnancy with both your families. Take a minute and learn what a baby in the womb looks like at JUST THE FACTS.

You may not be aware of this, but many times couples who choose abortion break up afterwards. There are so many different emotions and feelings of hurt, betrayal, guilt, and deep grief over the loss of a baby from abortion that can drive a wedge between couples. Encourage your girlfriend to not go through an abortion, if you truly care for her. There are many options available to you both, and we hope you will let us share them with you in a safe, confidential place with a caring, non-judgmental, and compassionate counselor.

Is she really pregnant?? Sometimes home pregnancy tests are not accurate, and the first thing you both need to do is to find out if she really is pregnant and learn more about your choices. Our center will provide a free and confidential laboratory-quality pregnancy test and help you both to make an informed decision. Your girlfriend doesn't have the option to run away from this crisis in her life, and, hopefully, you will not run away either, but will support her by being present with her when she comes to the center. Offer to make that initial phone call and set up an appointment to come in with her to talk to someone who has one desire to help you in this uncertain time in both your lives.

Decision to abort: If you both decide to have an abortion and go to a clinic, here are some questions you should ask the abortion clinic staff:

• What kind of abortion will she have? Will it be surgical or chemical? Be sure that both of you sit through any discussion about the abortion procedure and you are fully informed of the risks. Your girlfriend will appreciate your standing by her.
• Who is the doctor and what are the doctor's credentials? Write this information down, and be sure not to let your girlfriend sign anything releasing the doctor from any liability if she is injured during the abortion.
• Some clinics are not inspected by governmental agencies, and because of this sometimes they provide a level of care that is inadequate. If the clinic does not look spotless and sanitary, find another one.
• Both of you are entitled to see any medical tests or procedures that are being performed. Insist on being allowed to view the ultrasound if one is offered.
• If you or your girlfriend has any doubts, go home. Be sure to remind her that you don't want to pressure her into something she doesn't want to do, and you do have options.
• Stay with your girlfriend while at the clinic. If the clinic staff attempts to have your girlfriend separated from you for any reason, encourage her to leave with you for the time being. No matter what the rules are there is absolutely no reason you should not be allowed to stay with her and support her through this procedure.

Abortion is FOREVER so be sure that you completely research all your options in detail and know that our center's staff is here to help you regardless of your ultimate decision.

After the Abortion: If you have helped make a decision for an abortion, you may experience Post-Abortion Syndrome. There are a variety of symptoms that you might experience and here are some of them:

• Depression
• Shame
• Guilt
• Panic attacks
• Addictions
• Feeling of defeat
• Feeling unworthy
• Fear of being judged
• Fear of taking risks
• Fear of failure
• Fear of making decisions
• Sense of loss
• Sexual dysfunctions
• Suicidal thoughts

Please understand that you are not alone in these feelings. Our center is here to help you and your girlfriend if you are experiencing any of these symptoms. Please contact us.